When I Found a Man Worth Leading Me, I Let Down Those Walls of Being Ultra Independent
I used to be the woman that....
Got everything she wanted (materialistically)
Walked into a room and owned it
Manipulated men
Was always the one in control
Never allowed a man to take care of me financially
Wore the pants in the relationship
Was the successful one
Lead my family
It was exhausting, constantly living in my masculine energy. Deep down I wanted someone to lead my family but I was afraid that person would hurt me just as my father hurt us when he left. And so I built up those walls that kept me safe and in control.
Today I'm able to sit back and let my man lead our family with GOD at the forefront. Now I ...
Get everything I want (loyalty, honesty, emotional support, respect, compassion, trust, transparency etc)
Walk in rooms and impact others
No longer am mad at men
Am now in control of my emotions & reactions
Allow my husband to lead with finances while I still am a part of budgeting and building for our future
Don't wear the pants any longer so I don't have to make any decisions except for what I want to eat- which I'm still deciding on! LOL
WE are successful together as a power couple
He leads, while I walk beside him
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship from 14-19 years old, with my son’s father, and I learned the hard way on what love was NOT supposed to be like. So I put extremely high walls up and didn’t allow men to come in. That was my survival mechanism. That was what kept me in control at all times and I was never going to allow a man to hurt me ever again. (Said my little 7 year old inner child that was hurt over her father leaving).
But guess what kept happening? I kept on getting hurt by men. Because I kept attracting the wrong ones. Time and time again. Those walls I put up attracted men that didn’t fall into what I imagined my dream man to be. Because my dream man was healthy and healed and ready to take on the world with me, not be against me. But because I was afraid, I wouldn’t allow that person in. So I kept on entertaining men that were emotionally unavailable, needed fixing or were not ready to invest in the relationship.
Today I finally have my dream man. And he is EVERYTHING I ever imagined and more!!!! But guess what.... I broke down those walls. I started healing from my past and I allowed love to come in. And its such a beautiful thing!